I cannot ignore that the Lord DID come through - my dad's heart is healthy. My dad was cleared to run the marathon. His cardiologist was not concerned about what the angiogram showed. What stopped him from running the Marathon on Saturday was the port of entry for his angiogram - there was concern of hemorrhaging and that is what stopped him from running.
You may think I'm being dramatic when I say this but it's true, the mood for the marathon felt more like a loss of something instead of a celebration. Friday dad and I went to the Expo as planned, Savannah and I picked him up and headed to the Nutter Center. I had great conversation with my dad - we openly talked about the disappointment, frustration, and confusion. The "let down" of emotion and both spent time crying together - mourning the loss of us not able to complete this last milestone of crossing the finish line together.
We did some "retail therapy" at the Expo and bought a few matching running shirts, coffee mugs, and picked up our packets. When we got back in the car, dad grabbed his bag and cried. It broke my heart. On our way home we talked some more and I gave him his scrap book. It again was bitter-sweet. I wanted him to be encouraged in his frustrations and I knew the cards everyone sent him would do that for him. He has so much to be proud of.
The rest of the day I tried to refocus my mind for the race. Everything I was preparing for had changed within hours... I was not prepared to run this distance alone.
I tried my best to eat food that would fuel me for race day but nothing sounded good. I was able to get to bed around 8:30pm and woke up rested.
Saturday Morning - RACE DAY!
4:00 am - 4:30 am Alarm went off! I tried to be excited but driving up to the base alone, standing at the start line alone, and running alone was all I could think of. I was so sad... I sat in silence and asked the Lord to meet me.
5:15 am I loaded up my car and headed to WPAFB
6:45 am Parked and sat in my car - needed to focus. I sent my dad a few texts. Let him know how much I love him, missed him, and wished he was with me.
7:15 am At Start Line. If you're a friend or frequent to my blog, you know I have a few running buddies. I found Chad and we stood together and chatted for a bit. It was nice to have a friend, familiar face, and some encouragement before the race. The gun went off and we started together.
Miles 1-7 Just like everyone told me were rolling hills - I was prepared and felt good. I was able to click into my stride easily. I had created a worship playlist and turned it up... tears started before mile 2. It was going to be a long run.
Miles 8-10 I got to see my friend Melissa who was there supporting her husband. It was great to run by her twice and see her smiling face!
Miles 11-13 I was feeling strong- the sun was really starting to beat down and get hot. We didn't have any shade so I pulled back a bit to save my energy. I had heard miles 20-25 were rolling hills and steady inclines so I wanted to make sure between the heat and my emotions that I wasn't zapped.
Miles 14-18 Are really a blur... Here's the thing about a marathon - the adrenaline you receive from people, the excitement and joy is truly what pushes you to get through the tough miles... I just couldn't receive any of that. I was so sad - I was running without my dad, it's really all I could think of. I was running my fourth marathon and he was stuck at the finish line, eagerly awaiting - wishing he was running his first. Why couldn't I have been the one stuck at the finish line unable to run?!
Miles 19-22 I hit my wall and had to walk... I was emotional, crying, and just frustrated. I was hot and really had nothing left. I didn't care about my time but wanted to cross the finish line for my dad. My heart was full of disappointment and sadness.
One of the reasons I love running is because of the running community. Around this time of me just wanting to stop, there were people who would pass me or join me walking and talk to me about my dad. They would encourage me to keep going for him, to stop crying so I could finish strong.
Mile 22 I stopped to walk up the last big hill and ate a banana. I rehydrated, refocused, and asked the Lord to just carry me through the miles.
Miles 23-25 I met a dad who was running for his son who is currently deployed. He ran beside me and asked me about my scripture on the back of my tank (Psalm 73:26) and told me to keep pushing and moving forward for my dad. He stayed with me and at mile 26 he said; GO!
Mile 25.5-26.2 I passed my friend Melissa and her son Jaden they were cheering. I could see the finish line and I knew my family was there waiting. I heard dad yell my name and I started waving at him. It was then I became weightless, it was then I felt the spirit of the marathon, it was then I heard the announcer say; "And here she comes, crossing the finish line for her dad!"
I walked through the line and found my dad and we embraced, celebrating me finishing but sad that it was done alone.
I'm so thankful to Allan for coming to support me in this run, it's difficult to wait 3 hours at a finish line for someone and not get bored...especially with a 5 year old! Thank you for being there for me!
We have always had a great relationship, so the time together is enjoyable. It is hours together that I am absolutely grateful and blessed to have. We plan on continuing to run together - Run Like Hell 5k this October, the Turkey Day 10k in November, and who knows where that will lead us...
Bottom line - I love my dad and I probably will never know or understand why this happened. We will keep running, keep honoring the Lord, and celebrating milestones and accomplishments!
Thank you for all of your prayers, encouragement, cards, texts, and support through this entire training! We will be back!!!
