If you know me... you know I like to keep myself busy.
For the last 23 months I have ran 5 days a week... I have been on 18 week training programs, trying out new workout programs (like T25), organizing and running monthly Challenge Groups, and pushing myself to reach health & fitness goals I never thought I would ever reach.
I'll admit it, I've become addicted to running and absolutely love setting goals and helping others set and attain their goals.
17 days ago, I was in a car accident... I hit a buck and since that car accident, I have been unable to workout and run. I experience my first major car accident and injuries that have put me out of my routine of working out and running. To say I've been depressed about not being able to workout would be an understatement... Just ask my husband or the girls in my "Healthy for the Holidays Challenge Group". Not being able to run or workout has truly put me into an emotional tail spin.
I started seeing a wonderful Chiropractor who has helped me in my recovery from the accident. After 14 days of no working out or running, I felt good enough to try a 3 mile run.
The DAY I get to lace up my running shoes and run 3 miles I wake up with the flu.
What.the.heck?!
For the last 2 weeks, I've been avoiding that emotional breakdown that I knew was extremely necessary. To be honest, I had not processed the car accident... heck, I had not processed several things that had happened in 6 months... I just kept pushing them away and moving forward.
When I woke up with the flu yesterday @ 3am I knew this was the Lord, holding my hands, saying... "Hillary, BE STILL."
Why is being still so difficult? Let me tell you why... because the Lord convicts me when I'm still. It was in my time, laid up on the couch, unable to move the Lord convicted me of not being a good friend, not investing in those I love sincerely, not having my quiet times because I'm so busy, and prioritizing things that really shouldn't be at the top of my list.
My amazing mother-in-law kept Savannah yesterday and overnight, took care of her and allowed me to get the rest I needed to be ready to take care of Savannah today. Allan had to work last night so my mom came over with soup and crackers, we laid on the couch together, and watched Christmas movies.
I looked at my mom and confessed as much as I hate being sick, it was necessary.
She reminded me that the Lord allows things to happen, not to hurt us, but to draw us back to Him and His presence.
Today I sat in His presence and listened to worship music. One of my favorite bands, Elevation Worship, has a song called "The Broken & The Tired" there's a verse that says...
When I was weak
With tired feet
You gave me strength to run the race you'd given me
When I was numb
My heart grown cold
You gave me nerves to feel the warmth of Your love
Your love is kind
Your love's the only thing that's perfect in this life
He is strength in my weakness. I am thankful for His perfect, unconditional love when I've chosen not to listen to Him and get tired, overwhelmed, and consumed with this life.
The Lord has put me on the bench, I'm not sure for how long but I'm willing to listen and be obedient. Don't get me wrong, I look at my running shoes everyday and my heart hurts, but I know He will restore my physical strength soon, heal my body, and get me back on the road... running for Him.
